FOOLISH MORTALS NONDIS TDM

[grimgrinningghosts]

Did you miss us? We know you did. This is a TDM for Foolish Mortals’ Non-Disney Round, this test drive will remain open until the game itself opens in late May.

This round is open to western animation characters who AREN’T from Disney. Characters who don't fit this criteria may find themselves being removed from the test drive, for consistency purposes. If you have any questions, please feel free to consult our FAQ here. Please list your character's name (canon also recommended) in the header of your top-level prompt.

Here are some examples to get you started:

1 - Waking Up
You find yourself waking up in a touristy-looking hotel, and surprisingly, aren’t locked inside of it. You’re able to leave the hotel pretty easily, and if you do, you find yourself in...a colorful theme park. One still in operation, and in the middle of space, from the looks of things. You can move about the planet freely...but there’s no way off of it...

2 - Killing Time
What better place to have fun than a theme park? While the threat of murder still hangs over you, the rides are still functioning and operational, and you’re able to find recreation pretty easily.

3 - Haunted Carnival
There's...stillness in the air. Occasionally, you might notice some sort of unexplainable oddity. A ride might start itself in your presence, or dishes and silverware might reaarange themselves when you're not looking. The eyes on portraits might even follow you around, until you notice them. Perhaps it's worth investigation, or perhaps you're better off just screaming and running away. Your call.

4 - Motive!
Whoever the host is, they’re especially cruel to you all. Their weekly motives are more deadly than you might expect, but are they truly worth killing over? Something to consider.

5 - Body Discovery
Despite your best efforts, someone has died on this fateful Friday. It appears that Yosemite Sam is dead, and one of you is responsible. Better investigate the park for clues, and hope you don't mess this up...

6 - Et Cetera, Et Cetera, Et Cetera
For all the prompts you want to do but we haven't listed.

Keep in mind that posting in the test drive does not represent a commitment to join our game. You're welcome to play here even if you can't app. Playing here does not guarantee a slot in the game, nor does it count as a reserve. However, you're welcome to use up to 20 comments here from your character on the test drive should you app them later, in lieu of a sample.

Remember, reserves for the game will be opening on May 25th.

Comments

Zhu Li Moon | The Legend of Korra

[notthebattleship]

Killing Time

[If Zhu Li is fascinated by the theme park rides, she sure isn't showing it. Even after claiming that this is far larger than any gathering of rides she's seen, much less the complexity of each attraction, she's not rushing around in excitement to experience each of them.

Rather, she finds a spare hour or two in her day to calmly walk into the roller coaster boarding station, slide into a seat, and pull down a bar. A deep breath, and she turns next to you, the person she politely asked to show her around.]

Is this all I need to do before we go?

[Seriously, she's looking forward to this. It's not not easy expressing that.]

Body Discovery

[Oh.

Alright.

Guess she's better whip out that notebook if she doesn't want to die. While people are understandably freaking out beside her, Zhu Li steps up to the body without batting an eye, crouches over the mustachioed man, and begins jotting details of the scene - the position of his body, what is nearby, anything that other characters mention out loud. Someone's got to take notes.]

Wildcard

[Hit me up with anything!]

Body Discovery

[kindofagenius]

And here I am proven wrong by idiots again....alright let's see what we have here....

[Well Hilda seems to be calmly examining the body. She's at least wearing gloves. She's watched at least one cop show before, okay.]

Looks like a gunshot wound. Bullets, not a laser.

I suppose suicide is off the table given that it's in his back....unless he was way smarter then I gave him credit for.

Bojack Horseman | Bojack Horseman

[manecharacter]

1. You can lead a Horse to Murder
[Waking up in a touristy hotel is not strange for Bojack. Not remembering it isn't strange either. He awakens with a groan and rubs his face, looking around bleary eyed before he goes about getting the hell out of here.

The bizarre surroundings seem to be going over his head as he trudges around the hotel and through the theme park. He's giving just about everything he passes a judgmental look.]

For a theme park, you guys are having a really hard time picking a theme. Why don't I give you one? Obsolete.

[He stops short of someone, hands on hips.]

Hey, do you know where the taxis go from here? Or do they have their own, shitty shuttle service just to squeeze the last couple of dollars out of you to fund their dying money drain? Ugh, do they not realise people have more important things to do than ride Ferris Wheels and eat cotton candy and candy apples all-- ...Hold on.

[He's caught sight of the food stand.

If you catch him later, you'll find him eating theme park food with no self control.]

2. But you can't make him think
[Admittedly, Bojack is absolutely shaken by the murder. He caught a glimpse of the body and he's obviously pale and not coping. He's pacing around, being unhelpful with his hands folded over his chest and his shoulders hunched.]

I feel like maybe we should be suspicious of anyone who tries to say they didn't kind of want to kill that guy.

[When he feels judging eyes on him, he holds his hands up in the air. Exasperated.]

What? I'm just saying what we're all thinking. What all the innocent people are thinking, anyway. If I actually killed the guy do you think I'd be saying I kind of wanted him to go away permanently?

from one horse canon to another

[sunsetshimmer]

[ sunset attempts to follow that logic. ]

Did you . . . know him?

2

[dumbshits]

Let's be real here. I definitely wanted to kill that guy.

[Hi, Boj! Is this the ghost of christmas past conversing with you with Yosemite Sam's dead body right there? Who knows?]

I mean, he wore his pants up to his belly button.

Centipeedle | Steven Universe

[captain_cronch]

2.

[Centipeedle finds a certain fascination with the theme park rides. They keep the memory of her life as a captain alive. The monstrous alien wishes they worked like actual spaceships though! It’s such a dumb irony, to be here on a station with no functional ships!

The gem can be found on the roller coaster, scurrying to the seat and each time fiddling in some new way: either trying to crawl on the controls and see what makes it tick or doing something highly dangerous like riding with the bar up. She seems to handle the speed well each time, her unruly hair blown back and insect maw grinning as it returns.]

4.

[The Host was such a confusing person. They were so welcoming and kind and yet...they kept issuing ultimatums, horrible ones. That contradiction was souring the Host for her. But today did it.

What kind of being glibly offers hospitality and holds people you care for hostage? She didn’t want to believe that they could find them, even she couldn’t. The alien looks grim, scribbling green stick figures. But before anyone gets too close a look she simply...bunches it up and tears it.]

Wildcard

[Because thinking of everything is for AI.]

2

[cybersideman]

[Cyber6 didn't really understand their alien fellow all that much. Granted, Cyber6 didn't really understand the appeal of amusement parks and most human attractions. It wasn't really something that interested her but... she supposed she could see the appeal.

But for now she just watches Centipeedle have fun, smiling a little at the sight.]

Glad someone's enjoying themselves.

[stupiddog]

[Ohhh, Courage doesn't like this. Courage doesn't like this one bit. It's not exactly unexpected for him to be thrust into weird situations like this, but at least he's usually home. He doesn't even know where Muriel and Eustace are, let alone if they're ok. And why is he in some sort of abandoned theme park, anyway-

MONSTER. MONSTER!!!

Courage can currently be found trying to keep himself from whimpering behind the roller coaster's controls, hoping that Centipeedle hasn't seen or heard him yet.]

2

[invasionfail]

[As a fellow alien lifeform, Zösky appreciates the irony of having a space park in space.]

[However, he also doesn't have a good understanding of what Centi's species is really like. You see, the corrupted gem is the only representative of her whole species here, and since Zösky doesn't usually stay on a particular planet for more than a few days at the most, he doesn't have the time to learn too much about most species outside of first impressions and tourist guides. Therefore, he's assuming that all gems are insect-like and physically incapable of common speech.]

[He must admit, her curiosity is admirable. Here, he happens upon her as she fiddles with the controls on a roller coaster.]

Making some adjustments, are we?

Dan Backslide | The Dan Backslide Show

[dothebackslide]

1

[Should you dare to pass by the snack food stand of ill-repute, you'll find Dan Backslide, coward bully cad and thief, eating a hot dog with two churros as the buns. Its a delicacy.

He doesn't seem all that phased by this unusual turn of events but he doesn't seem... quiet about it either.] What kind of churro dog is THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?! THERE ISN'T EVEN ANY RANCH DRESSING! THE NERVE OF SLIGHTING DAN BACKSLIDE!

4

[Dan's hand goes to his mouth as he opens up the envelope.] My god... it can't be... it can't be...

[He tosses it to the ground, wiping away tears as he points a dramatic finger to the direction of the park runner.] You can't do this! Not to that innocent soul! Not to my precious darling! GIVE THEM BACK TO ME! I'LL DO ANYTHING YOU WANT! JUST DON'T TOUCH A HAIR ON THEIR HEAD!

[A picture of a vape pen flutters to the ground next to his hand.]

5

[...well, that's a dead toon alright. One of the greats, even. One of the biggest stars of the whole Loony Tunes block. Dan seems genuinely shaken for once, actually.]

...That's, uh... that's not very funny.

4 and there's a show about him now?

[invasionfail]

[Ah, yes. A twist on the old hostage motive. Show everyone an object that's most precious to them and threaten to destroy it unless someone kills. Sounds petty in theory, but there seem to be an awful lot of irreplaceably useful items out there.]

[And then there's this guy.]

[Zosky's gotten somewhat used to the meleodramatic screeching, but he can't help but glance at Dan whenever he does this. This time, the yelling actually called his attention to the picture at the human's feet.]

Excuse you, why are you so upset? You can get another one of those easily enough!

[Zosky himself is holding a picture of the spaceship equivalent of a smartcar. He kind of needs his getaway vehicle, thank you very much.]

sunset shimmer | mlp: equestria girls series

[sunsetshimmer]

[ 4. motive ]

[ sunset is used to solving mysteries by now. she and the girls have done their fair share, but this one was . . . well, a little out of her league to be honest. Still, she wasn't going to let that stop her. Her powers should be able to help in this situation. ]

So, this is going to sound crazy, but uh if you let me touch you, I can . . . help prove your innocence?

[ worth a shot. ]

[ 3. haunted carnival. ]

[ there were places in equestria that felt like this. the everfree forest comes to mind, but her memories of equestria are faint, fading day by day. and she no longer possesses that kind of magic to protect herself. for once, she was a little scared, but sunset was never one to let her emotions get carried away. still, she looks around before spotting someone nearby and approaching them with a nervous grin. ]

Are you okay with having some company?

[ wildcard! ]

tarrlok | avatar: legend of korra

[bloodisthicker]

2. Killing Time

[This was quite possibly the stupidest thing Tarrlok had ever had to deal with, and he was a politician. Well, the situation was dire, all things considered, and he was doing his best to step up and try to lead, but... well.

They were doing all they could at the moment, and so unlike his usual days of paperwork and related politics, Tarrlok had a lot of free time. Also unlike his usual days, his bending seemed to be on the fritz, so he was currently in the water rides section of the park, uh.

...

Doing his best. The water is... it's kind of moving in a way that's not natural? But it's not doing anything special...]

...you know, it'd make more sense if they were gone.

3. Haunted Carnival

[Ah, and of course it got stupider. After enough inexplicable phenomena occur around him, Tarrlok decides to play it safe and see if he can get an investigation buddy or two to just... look into this further. So, if he sees someone reasonably competent-looking...]

Excuse me. I'm sure you've got nothing better to do right now, so would you mind looking into something with me?

3.

[trappedlapis]

...Like what?

[ Lapis usually keeps to herself, but if there's something that she can find out about this place then she can be bothered. ]

Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Miraculous Ladybug

[luckyspots]

1. Waking Up

[Anyone in the hallway of the hotel might hear a very noticeable thump and then a quick scrambling noise. A soft ow ow ow ow accompanies it a moment before the door opens and a young woman opens the door to the hallway looking a little dishevaled.

Immediately she freezes for a second or two, blinking; before quickly trying to flatten her hair back in place and look cool.

It's cool, this is cool everything's cool.]

Oh. Um. Hey!

2. Killing Time

[Well, they're not trapped inside so... why not check it out! There's probably no finding anything inside. Besides-- it's... kind of hard not to be tempted by the lights and excitement of the theme park.]

Woah--!!

[Marinette's eyes go wide as she watches one of the rides zoom by.]

...no. No. Focus, Marinette.

[...she's not doing a good job of that.]

3. Haunted Carnival

[This place is seriously really cool. She hates that this isn't just good fun. She'd really like it here. But looking around she kept getting this... odd feeling. Walking past a set of posters when she swears she saw something shift out of the corner of her eye. But when she swings around-- it's not moving at all.]

...okay I think I'm going crazy, but... did that just...?

1

[cybersideman]

[Cyber6 can't help but blink at the display, adjusting glasses in puzzlement.]

Hey?

Don't suppose you recognize this place?

Double D | Ed, Edd, n' Eddy

[dsquared]

Waking up

[OOOOOKAY. This definitely isn't Double D's home. At all. What is he doing in a hotel anyway?

He freshens himself up the best he can given the situation, and ventures out into the hall.]

A-alright... Ed? Eddy? This isn't funny...

[This might have been a joke from his friends, right? Even if this hotel seems too well built to be their handiwork, there's still a chance they might have left him in a legit hotel...

It's only when he opens the front door and sees the amusement park on the distant planet does he realize the gravity of the situation.]

Oh... Dear...

Killing Time

[Well, it's an abandoned theme park. At the very least, kids like Double D are amused by these things... But it's less fun on your own than it is with friends.

So here he is, contemplating a bag of cotton candy.]

Mmn... I'm actually surprised they could actually create this, considering the likely difference in atmospheric pressure on this planet... Actually, has anyone wondered how we're all breathing?

[#priorities]

Killing Time

[dothebackslide]

Maybe... we AREN'T.

[This guy's here now apparently.]

Zosky | Kaput and Zosky

[invasionfail]

Wake up

[As a self-proclaimed "conqueror of planets," Zosky already had his fair share of waking up on strange planets without a weapon or space ship. That's normal for him... Kinda. But the problem is, he doesn't exactly remember how he got here... Nor is his partner in crime anywhere in sight.

That's not a good sign. They must regroup before anything gets worse. In absence of his usual space gun crisperizer, Zosky has stolen the desk lamp from his room and is totally prepared to bludgeon someone with it in self defense.]


Come on... He's got to be somewhere in the building...

[He's prowling the halls, trying to steel his nerves as he searches for his friend. Either he bumps into you in the halls or he's burst into your room.]

Haunted Carnival

[Okay... He gets it now. This is some sort of hostage situation and he's the only one who's been kidnapped.]

This is fine... I've gotten myself out of these things before... I can probably handle this.

[He's giving himself too much credit right now... But all this stressing is wearing him out. He needs a break. Luckily, there's a convenient ride vehicle that doesn't seem to be moving.]

Hmm....

[He walks right on up and perches himself in the front row.]

Ah... This is more like it. A moment of relaxation before-

[The lap bars snap down on him, locking him in place.]

Gh! What the?!

[He struggles to free himself, but the bar won't budge. He's gritting his teeth in frustration as he tries to escape, not noticing the lever to turn the ride on is moving on its own...

...Now he's screaming bloody murder as the roller coaster takes off at full speed. Someone help, he's the only person on this train and it won't stop.]

Motive

[Good news, we finally found Kaput.

Bad news, the guy's being displayed on a monitor with a bunch of other hostages.

Worse news... Kaput isn't happy about this either.

Zosky winces as his friend violently rants at the other hostages and keeps threatening to crisperize everyone in the room. They didn't brainwash him this time, but...]

You know, I'm not sure if I should be worried about him or embarrassed by him.

Motive

[kindofagenius]

[Considering her hostage is a man in a green superhero costume, currently swearing at everyone....]

Ugh, I know what you mean. I'm going to go with both. Mostly the second one.

Hilda | X-Ray and Vav

[kindofagenius]

Waking Up
[Yeah just going to exit the weird hotel she was kidnapped to.....and...and...]

And.....I'm in a theme park. Just great. It's going to take me forever to get back to the city from here. Ugh and they took my phone too. This is just the best day ever, I can tell.

Killing Time

[Turns out you can't leave. Hilda is not pleased. ORF isn't here and those idiots are probably too distracted to notice she's gone. So she's doing what she does best.

Trying to strip the rides of parts for tech building. ...what? she needs them more then the rides do....probably. ...maybe.]

Motive

Do they really expect people to kill over the potential to get their loved ones back? I can't be the only one who thinks they're lying out of their asses. ....Please tell I'm not the only one who thinks that.

Penny Polendina | RWBY

[in4apounding]

Killing Time
[Penny's got a pretty good grasp on their situation. Kidnapped (to SPACE, which is honestly pretty gosh darn amazing), with no way out, except for a vague promise of freedom if they killed someone. Which was frankly ridiculous? Sure things looked kind of bad, but obviously rescue would come sooner or later, no one was going to stoop to murder THAT easily. Almost certainly.]

[So it was bad, yes, but there wasn't anything to be gained by panicking. So Penny, for one, is going to try to be productive and explore their surroundings.]]

[And get too-easily distracted by a shooting booth game.]

[And is apparently really good at it? But afterwards examines the rifle barrel carefully, frowning.]

...I don't want to accuse anyone of anything, but I believe this has been deliberately modified to pull to the left.

Motive
[The incentive was a pretty bad one. The infinitely-restocking supplies suddenly weren't, and wouldn't, until someone died. Including, and probably most pressingly, the food.]

[Penny's been taking it kind of shockingly well, though? She doesn't look like she's suffering from any kind of ill effects from lack of food or anything, at least. Mostly she's worried about everyone else. In fact, she's probably checking up on someone right now-]

Sal-u-tations, how are you holding up?

Body Discovery
Oh no, Mister Sam!

[That. Is very certainly a lot of blood. Like a lot. Or maybe ink? It's not super clear with the Looney Toons. At least this Sam doesn't have an actual human arm for a spine, unless this murder is a lot weirder than can reasonably gotten into in this test drive.]

[Penny is pretty understandably horrified, but at least she's handling it better than one might expect from her usual disposition.]

He never hurt any- ....well he never hurt anyone HE- ...he didn't deserve this probably.

Wildcard
[Come at me, friends.]

Killing Time

[kindofagenius]

[Hilda's just walking around, realizing she's not getting out of here any time soon when she notices the person at the theme park's game area.]

Yeah it seems like the kind of place to do something like that. Make sure you can't actually win a prize.

I could probably fix it, if you want to actually try and play the game for real.

[Hilda, day one. Finding a way to give people weapons.]

Benjamin "Captain Underpants" Krupp | Captain Underpants

[suspenderdisbelief]

Arrival
[For your consideration, one overweight, middle-aged man stalking through the halls of the hotel, looking ready to pop a vein, yell at someone responsible, or both.]

This is- complete and UTTER nonsense and I am going to-

[And it's about at this point that he reaches the front door of the hotel. Which leads to the theme park. In space.]

[It might take him a moment to process this.]

...GEORGE. HAROLD. WHAT DID YOU DO?!

[But ONLY a moment.]

Motive!
[It's another old classic this week, the hostage motive. Mr. Krupp isn't looking very impressed.]

Oh HA HA, very funny.

[He tosses his "hostage's" photo on the floor and stalks off. Anyone picking it up will find a photo of an undressed mannequin, bound to a chair and with a note tacked on its chest reading "Mr. Krupp has no friends".]

Body Discovery
There's- ah- I. I don't mean to alarm anyone-

[It's. Probably the Captain, judging by the lack of pants and terrible toupee. But he looks a lot more shell-shocked than usual. And there's- ...it's probably just red paint. Really. But it's on his hands.]

There's, ah. I think Sam might be injured. Rather badly. I- I don't-

[Someone wanna help here?]

Wildcard
[Choose your own adventure!]

Arrival

[notthebattleship]

[Zhu Li has apparently gotten over her initial panic and is standing by the wall with a fresh cup of tea, unbothered by yet another loud man slamming the door open.]

I wouldn't know. I haven't met them.

[Takes a sip.]

Lorna | Over The Garden Wall

[bonesorter]

[Waking Up]

[When Lorna wakes up, it's with alarm: not just because she has no idea where she is, but typically when that happens, it means... well. It means something bad happened while she was unconscious.]

I beg your pardon, but can you please tell me where we are? And... i--if anyone is hurt and needs treatment.

[She needs to make sure. She needs to be absolutely certain that it wasn't her doing...]

[Killing Time]

[Lorna has never been to a theme park before. Not even a normal one that most people would go to with friends or family--it was always too dangerous, going outside. Especially somewhere that Auntie Whispers could not follow. Even so, she cannot help but be curious.]

Pray tell, what is this? I've never seen anything like it before.

[She's pointing to random rides and games, looking to whoever's nearby that might be able to answer for her. Help an 18th century puritan girl out?]

Killing time

[standsforrevenge]

[A single lady! Asking him a question!! Things are looking up for Gandhi!]

Now that over there is something really special, if you know what I mean. Not just anyone can be privy to its secrets.

[Oh god he's gesturing towards the Tunnel of Love]

4

[studentbody]

[Cleo listens to the motive announcement, looking bored. Actually, her expression is positively glazed over. She's definitely not listening at all, and when she opens up the envelope in her hands and sees the picture inside, she nearly drops it.]

Ew. Joan? This is a prank, right? At least put someone hot in my envelope if you want me to care.

[She shoves it into the hands of the nearest person, grabbing for their envelope.]

Did you get someone hot? I'll trade you.

[standsforrevenge]

[A free pic of Joan? On top of the one he got of Cleo? This is the best day of his life]

Norville "Shaggy" Rogers | Pup Named Scooby Doo

[norville]

3

[It's not like Shaggy is a stranger to weird stuff like this. Far from it, in fact. But he's always been a bit of a coward, and the fact that he hasn't found any of his friends, like, anywhere makes it so much worse. He doesn't even have his puppy to cling to.

So it's with a horrible sense of dread that Shaggy tiptoes through the carnival- why did he even come here, again??- jumping at every hint of a footstep or gust of wind.

With this in mind, it's no wonder that the abrupt rustling in the dumpster behind him sends him into blind panic.]

Who's- who's there! D-D-Don't come any closer! I- I-... I don't know what I'll do, but just- just leave me alone!

--

5

[AAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

If you were expecting anything useful out of Shaggy in this investigation, good luck. He's a twelve year old child who's never seen a dead body before, and all his past "investigations" have involved stuff like trying to figure out which petty criminal was running around disguised as a cheese monster.

Instead, he's gonna be curled up in a ball in the corner of the room, wishing desperately for his friends to be here.]

[areyoucheatingonme]

[Scooby comes out of the shadow of the dumpster to reveal himself to the younger version of his best friend.]

I ron't hurt you! Ross my heart. [He makes the motion of a cross against his chest and raises his paw in the air to signal that he's unarmed or whatever- I mean, he is a simple great dane. No pockets or weapons on this dog.]

Aku | Samurai Jack

[shapeshiftingevil]

i.

[Okay, there's no way the samurai was responsible for this, even he can see that. Perhaps this was a result of some cosmic intervention at last...or one hell of a fever dream.]

Space travel, huh? Tedious, but child's play!

...

[Something is supposed to happen. It is not going to happen any time soon.]

What.

ii.

Hmmmmmmm...

[There's some kind of monster around the shopping area, currently stroking his beard in deep contemplation. What is this grotesque horror of a man planning? What nefarious thoughts run through this hideous, cosmic evil's mind?

Hotdogs, apparently.

Come get your hotdogs!]

...It occurs that, out of alllll things I've advertised with my face, these hotdogs have completely slipped my grasp.

[Aku addresses the nearest person, all of a sudden.]

YOU, FOOLISH MORTAL. CORNDOGS OR BBQ?

Ginger | Chicken Run

[thegreateggscape]

Killing Time

[Ginger had definitely wanted a change of pace, but not like this. The rides and attractions seemed like nothing but a cruel joke, and she couldn't begin to understand how anyone could be buying into it and enjoying themselves in this situation. They needed to focus. She needed to focus.

Instead of going on any of the rides, she takes to wandering around the park, looking for a means to escape. Think Ginger, Think. There's got to be some way out of here, right?]

Motive

[Ginger opens up the envelope, and feels her heart in her throat. A photo of a flock of chickens, each one she knows by name. She would do anything for them...]

No.

[She crumples up the envelope in her hand, and try to speak to the others.]

We can't buy into their threats like this. If we all refuse to play their game and work together, we can make it out of here.

Bonus

[Is that a fried chicken stand?

Anyone nearby might find Ginger not too far off, looking rather queasy.]

KFC

[in4apounding]

Miss Ginger? Is something wro- ...oh. Ooooh. Oh no.

Beth Tezuka | Bravest Warriors

[oh_worm]

killing time

[ Alright, so. Here they are! Just a bunch of people in some kind of whack evil murder theme park. That's not the most unusual thing she's ever heard of! Totally not. ... Actually no, that's not even an exaggeration. She's lived through weirder.

Anyway, Beth is wandering through the shops, some kind of corn dog in hand, looking through the souvenirs. ]

... These aren't even like one tenth as nice as the Wankershim gear. What gives? They're cutting hecka corners on these things.

Motive

[ Ah, hostages. Classic villainous intimidation tactic. Beth is looking at hers... curiously? ]

I mean I don't want him to die, obviously, but... really? You picked Chris? I mean he's a great friend, and I'd be devastated for a crazy long time if he died, but... are you trying to say I still have feelings for Chris, because that feels like it's what you're implying here. Because I don't. Totes. We had a whole thing about it.

killing time

[carbonairhead]

[ And, from behind one of the stalls, a unicorn pops up, with an almost vacant smile and...some fuzzy boas draped over her head. ]

What's Wankershim? A friend? A place? A really tasty ice cream flavor?